January 11, 2004

What a rainy Sunday! For a while, i thought we already saw the last of rainy days last year and spring is coming (like, as if it matters which season it is in Sunny Singapore)!

Love & Dating...4
An old friend of mine broke up with his gf of a few years and got together with this new lady. Came unexpectedly, cos the last time i icq-ed with him a month or so back, it sounded like everything was all right. But, who is to say how soon or how late such things are.

I guess, the thing with most of us is that we often feel bad for being the one to initiate a break up with the other person, assuming that the other person has not done anything unforgivable or anything to really deserve being 'dumped'. Feelings of guilt will step in, and we start telling others 'it's my fault', and then swing into the very melancholic and sorry mode. Like, as if you were looking for more understanding from your friends for breaking up with someone, when in truth, you really shouldn't give a damn.

Because, these are things you should have thought about even before you make the decision to break up (or switch partner or two-time or whatever). And if you already thought about it and made the decision to break up, do it with all the grace and respect accorded to your ex-partner-to-be as well as yourself. If you made the decision withOUT thinking it through, what the hell, you are just another idiot in this game of love. But, even idiots can be good ex-partners. How? By not dwelling in the 'I'm sorry, it's really my fault mode'. Please, move on. It will not only do yourself good, but also your ex-partner as well as your next partner.

On the other hand, it's natural to go through a period of 'grieving' for a lost relationship, regardless you are the 'dump(verb)' or 'dumped(adj)'. But, the last thing you should do is to think 'all my friends will hate me for initiating the break-up', like as if it really matters. Because, it really doesn't. I always say, 'the people who matter will understand, and those who don't simply do not matter'. Especially in matters of the heart, who is to judge what's right and what's not? Like I always say again, 'everything happens for a good reason; you'll know it sooner or later'.

So, there! A life to be lived, your life. Live it.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:35